So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero