...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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