It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love