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You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
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