did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just puked most of my soul out..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
