Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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