I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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