I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
