so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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