is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
