Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
