we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
