At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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