the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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