I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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