i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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