at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
