Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
