3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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