butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
