U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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