Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
