Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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