that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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