Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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