Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You made out with two different species that night
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
