I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
