You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
