im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
