they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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