My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
