I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
