Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
