everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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