I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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