so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
