I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
