You made me cry and you don't even care
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
