I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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