Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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