nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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