i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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