my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
