its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
