I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
