Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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