She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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