its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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