You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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