So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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