glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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