The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
