my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
