Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
