My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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