I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
