thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How drunk are you?
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