Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we made out on top of his cat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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