i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Randomize
