My cat gives me a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
