Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
