am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
